


Your Color

by mywinterbuckybear



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 40s Bucky is not a specialty, F/M, It's something about the eyes, Soulmate AU, one of my faves, the reader is a bad ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 19:59:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11448015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mywinterbuckybear/pseuds/mywinterbuckybear
Summary: Bucky thought he finally found the one but it turned out to be your sister. And being the big sister you are, you went to talk the bastard who played with your sister’s feelings. Unbeknownst to him, you are his superior in the army and is more than prepared in giving him a hard time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Soulmate Au where everyone has two different eye colors, one of their own and one is their soulmate’s. Once they meet each other, the eyes revert back to their own color. (bucky has brown eyes in this fic) ([Y/N/N] means your nickname)

“You know, Buck. When my Ma and Pa first met, their eyes changed instantly.” Steve shrugged as he murmured his words. 

“I know that, Steve. It’s kind of hard to forget when you mention it every single time I’m with Nancy.” Bucky sassed as he leaned back to his seat in the booth. It was the same diner where he and Nancy first met. It became their agreed on place to meet. The first time they saw each other, it was a sight. They both had one brown and one [Y/E/C]; it was a perfect match.

“You’ve been together for more than a week, Buck. And your eyes hasn’t change a single shade.” Steve tried to knock some sense into Bucky’s head. He has been trying to for a while now. He was there when Nancy and Bucky met. 

“I’m aware. But my folks, it took 2 days, Steve. Two whole days.” Bucky, unlike his friends, still held on to the slither of hope that Steve was just being impatient.

“It’s been 10 days, Bucky. I don’t think she’s the one,” Steve lowly murmured. Bucky opened his mouth to answer but whatever he was supposed to say faded away. He took a deep breath. He knew, deep down, that Steve had a point. “You think I haven’t been counting?“ 

“You’re going to be drafted in a few days.“ 

“Are you really going to let her think you’re soulmates and make her wait for you until you come back to tell her the truth?” That sentence made his chest tighten. 

“No.” Bucky knew exactly what he had to do, no matter how hard it was, he had to do it. It was unfair to Nancy and he knew that. All he wanted was to meet his soulmate before he gets shipped to England. That was his only wish and that was enough to blind him on obvious facts. That Nancy [Y/L/N] isn’t his soulmate. He had to set things straight, even if he had to hurt the woman who has done nothing but want to meet her soulmate but met someone like him instead.

*

“Oh, you should meet him, [Y/N]!“ 

Nancy twirled around in her dress as she removed the curlers in her hair. There were clear happiness in her eyes and [Y/N] couldn’t help but smile at her sister. Nancy was such a hopeless romantic, the state of the war not affecting her carefree personality one bit. [Y/N] sat on the bed and grinned at her little sister. Nancy sat beside [Y/N] then placed her head on her older sister’s shoulder. “He’s amazing! He’s funny! He so gentlemanly and very suitable for the war! He has a rank too!“ 

[Y/N] rolled her eyes at her sister. Nancy was beginning to sound like a lovesick puppy. “Everyone in the army has a rank, Nance.“ 

“I really think he’s the one, [Y/N/N]! This is it. I’m finally with my soulmate.” She sighed dreamily. [Y/N] didn’t have the heart to tell her. Nancy, her sister, has been meeting this amazing guy, according to her, for the past week and both of them are convinced they’ve found the one. But to this day, Nancy’s eyes hasn’t changed one bit. It was still half brown and her color. Just like [Y/N]’s.

“I’m happy for you.” [Y/N] placed her arm around Nancy and pulled her to a hug. If her sister’s happy, then she’s happy too. Nancy returned her hug. “And I’m happy you’re back from the war..“ 

“This is not a permanent vacation, Nance. I’m just here to safely escort Dr. Erskine for his mission here in Brooklyn.” Nancy rolled her eyes [Y/N] before reaching for her lipstick and applying another layer to her lips.

“All work and no play. When will you meet your soulmate if you’ve never even tried to find them?

“In the right time.” [Y/N] smiled before helping Nancy finish her hair. The two didn’t look a bit alike; the only similarity were the color of their eyes. “Now let’s get you all dolled up. Wouldn’t want to keep this man of yours waiting.” [Y/N] could only hope that whoever this man is, he would take care of her sister like she always does whenever she goes to war for her.

*

“I’m sorry, Nancy. I can’t do this anymore.” Nancy dropped her spoonful of icecream at Bucky’s word. Her throat went dry at his words. She tried to search his eyes but Bucky had his gaze set to ground. He couldn’t look her in the eye. If he did, he’ll see just how her heart broke.

“B-Bucky, what do you mean? Do you not like the ice cream here anymore? That’s fine, we can go to another shop.” She started to stand from her seat, still with a hopeful smile on her face but Bucky pulled her back to sit down.

“No. that’s not it, Nancy,” he breathed out, he looked up to see the woman’s smile slowly fading. He took a quick glance to where Steve was sitting. Steve was on a stool a few feet away, ready to give his friend support whenever he needed. Steve met his glance and nodded slowly, silently telling Bucky this was the right thing to do. Bucky sighed before reverting his gaze back to Nancy. “This. Whatever this is." 

"Bucky, what do you mean?” Nancy whispered out, her tears threatening to fall at any moment.

“Our eyes hasn’t changed. It’s never been this long for anyone unless…” Bucky started trailing, not wanting the words to come out form him.

“Unless we’re not really soulmates.” Nancy finished, with a bitter smile on her face as the first few tears fell.

“Nancy, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to go like this-" 

"And how did you want it to go, Barnes?” She stood up from her seat. Everyone else in the diner were now acknowledging the drama. “Make me think you’re finally the one then you dump me just like that. Is that not how you wanted this?" 

"I-I’m sorry,” Bucky stuttered, not knowing what better thing to say. She lifted her hand ready to slap the man and Bucky looked down, ready to take everything she’ll give him. But it never came. Instead she just bit to her lip when Bucky finally looked up.

"James Buchanan Barnes. You.” She pointed her finger at him before clenching her fist, trying to keep her tears to herself. “Are a terrible person." 

With those words, Nancy left the diner. Bucky felt like trash, he knew what he did was right but it didn’t feel like it. Steve, knowing it was his cue, sat beside his friend and placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled weakly. “Are you going to eat that?”

Bucky let out a chuckle at Steve. Steve grinned once he saw his friend finally smile. Bucky pushed the sundae out of Steve’s reach. “You’re lactose intolerant, punk.” 

*

"He what?”

“He ended it.” Nancy hiccuped as she wiped her tears again, her eyes were swollen red. “He said we really weren’t soulmates so what’s the point.” [Y/N] placed her teacup down to its coaster before pursuing her lips, trying to stay as calm as possible.

“Where is he?" [Y/N] quickly stood up from her seat and made her way to their shared room with Nancy following her. Nancy finally realized what her older sister was going to do. "No, [Y/N]. It was my fault. I expected too much." 

"Just please calm down-" 

"He’s a Barnes, isn’t he?” [Y/N] hissed out her words, opening different drawers harshly. She was getting more and more frustrated when she couldn’t find what she was searching for.

“Yes but- oh dear god, [Y/N]. Please put your gun back!" 

[Y/N] cocked her gun before putting on the safety before hiding it in her jacket. "You stay here. Don’t you try telling ma or pa about this." 

"Just leave him alone. He’s right. We’re not soulmates so what the point of us being together.” Nancy’s tone slowly got softer and it was enough to break [Y/N]’s heart. [Y/N] stopped walking and turned around to meet her sister’s eyes, glassy with tears.

“Because I know the type of man he is. Those are the ones who treat women as if they’re just their flavors of the week. Using the idea of soulmates to make women fall for them with their nice words and so called good intentions until they move on to their next conquest.” [Y/N] clenched teeth in anger before walking out the door. 

“And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you just be another woman in their list.” Nancy followed her, knowing all too well that she’s not kidding. [Y/N] was a great woman. She was the best sister anyone can ever ask for. She was a family woman and that is one of the things that pushed her in joining army. She will protect her family from anyone that tries to hurt them. And this jerk won’t get away with breaking her little sister’s heart.

*

Steve and Bucky were just leaving the diner after a well needed meal and talk. Bucky wanted to go find Nancy and apologize again but Steve insisted that she would need time to heal. But that planned went south when they saw Nancy and the woman next to her who Nancy was trying to knock some sense into. The woman wasn’t stopping a beat and Steve was pretty sure she was burning a hole right through their skulls with how much fire were in her eyes. With Nancy on the background whispering words to calm the woman, Steve easily put two and two together and his eyes bulged at the newfound information. They had to get out of there fast. But Bucky wasn’t moving an inch.

Bucky was fucking mesmerized. He couldn’t move from his spot. He couldn’t remove his eyes from the woman, he felt something changing but he was too entranced to even think about it. His throat went dry and he swears, he has never seen a more radiant beauty until that moment.

“Is this him? Is this the one?” Bucky could barely hear her words. He was more hypnotized by her voice. He couldn’t focus; his mind was going blank. Steve by his side was pulling on his sleeve, trying to make him snap out of it but he doesn’t. Everything was in slow motion, from how she turned her head to the side and her hair bounced softly at the act, how her eyes showed so much story in her fiery gaze, how her fist connected to his face. 

The only thing that seemed to snap Bucky out of his daze was when his body met the floor from the impact of [Y/N]’s punch. His hand quickly went to his jaw, slightly relieved it wasn’t dislocated even though it felt like it was. Steve knelt down to his friend, knowing he shouldn’t butt in in the moment.

“That’s for what you did to Nancy.” Bucky eyes went to Nancy who looked like she was about to cry. She was pulling on [Y/N]’s arm, trying to stop her from doing anything else she might regret. “Okay, [Y/N]. That’s enough.You got him. Please let’s just go-” 

“I don’t want you anywhere near her or my family again. Don’t you dare show your face to her or to me or else.” [Y/N] threatened as she pulled out her gun from her jacket, pointing it to the ground. 

At the show of a gun, Steve sprung into action. He went in front of Bucky and put his hands up. “Woah woah woah. Let’s talk about this.”

[Y/N] swallowed when her anger slowly drained from her body. Nancy was trying to pull her back and Steve looked like he was getting nervous and Bucky was flat out staring in awe. “[Y/N], please.” Nancy whispered to her ear.“That’s enough.” [Y/N] nodded in answer as she stuffed her gun back to her jacket. She glanced back to Bucky’s face, engraving every detail she can get to her brain. She finally let Nancy to pull her out of the scene. She rubbed her eyes at an unknown feeling, trying hard not to look back.

Steve released a sigh of relief. He chuckled to himself. He warned him this was going to happen. And he’s right. “Well, You had that one coming, didn’t you, Buck?”

Bucky didn’t answer. He was still staring, in shock. Steve snapped his fingers in front of his friend.“Buck? Bucky? “

“It’s her,” he whispered as he swallowed the lump in his throat. “It’s her, Steve.”

“Who is.”

“Her. She’s my soulmate.” Steve got a closer look to see his friend’s eyes were both brown, clear as day. A definite sign that Bucky just met the one destined to him. And she almost broke his jaw.

*

[Y/N] didn’t notice her eyes changed until she placed her gun back in her drawer and stared in a mirror and heard Nancy scream. Nancy was absolutely ecstatic while [Y/N] froze in shock. Nancy was already planning on meeting back with Bucky to fix everything between them but [Y/N] stopped her. She was sticking to her guns and if he did that to her sister, how much is she really missing? Nancy tried to talk her out of it but she already made up her mind.

[Y/N] instead placed all her time in helping Dr. Erskine. And the man couldn’t help but question if she met her soulmate since he noticed her eyes has changed then she told him. She set it to herself to accompany the doctor and his handpicked soldier And by coincidence or cruel destiny, it turned out to be Steve.

“I take it you remember Col. [Y/F/N] [Y/L/N].” Dr. Erskine pointed to [Y/N] who had her head held up high. Steve was more than shocked, he figured that her gun was military issued but he wouldn’t guess that she was high up the rank like that. But should’ve expected that from someone who practically had power radiating from them.

“Of course, I remember her. She almost shot my friend.” He reached for her hand and nodded in respect. “Colonel.”

“Rogers, it’s nice to see you again.” She took his hand firmly and nodded back.“In different circumstances, that is.”

Steve laughed at her little joke. [Y/N] was nicer like this and was a pleasure to talk to. Bucky would love her and they were perfect for each other was all Steve could think of. [Y/N], on the other hand, took it upon herself to change Steve’s first impression of her. If she was right, she wouldn’t want to have any grudges to possibly the very first super soldier.

*

As it turned out, [Y/N] was right. Steve did become the very first super soldier and quite possibly be the last after Dr. Erskine’s tragic death. But that never stopped [Y/N]. She went on and led her men to victory. She has parted ways with Steve, leaving him in the very capable hands of her dear friend, Agent Peggy Carter. It was another successful battle and her men was rejoicing. Peggy came to celebrate the victory of her friend.

"So, how’s Steve?” [Y/N] smirked as she took a sip from her glass. Peggy smiled at the mere mention of her soulmate’s name before drinking her own beer. 

"Fine. I will be visiting him after this. He has a show here in Italy for the last men of the 107th-“ A sharp pain to the eyes made [Y/N] close them tightly. 

”[Y/N], are you okay?“ 

"I’m fine, there’s just this pain-AH!” Another painful shock went through her, she felt as if her eyes were being burned through her skull. The pain made her fall to the floor, her drink following her and shattering. She could only hear the ringing in her ears with Peggy’s voice shouting in the background. 

[Y/N] opened her eyes, her vision was blurred with tears. And there it was. The explanation for the pain she’s feeling. Her eyes were blinking to a familiar shade of brown. "Bucky…“ She whispered in a shaky breath, absolutely terrified. 

"What’s wrong? [Y/N], tell me-” Peggy’s tone turned to a whisper as she gasped. [Y/N]’s eyes were blinking from [Y/E/C] to brown. 

The rules of finding your soulmate was simple. Everyone is born with two different eye colors: one of their own and the other is their soulmate’s. When the two meet, their eyes would feel strange and it will change to their own color. But as an unfortunate side, when one of the two untimely dies, the other would receive the eye color of their departed soulmate as a painful reminder of their death until the day they die. That would mean if [Y/N]’s eyes were blinking to his color, then Bucky is dying. No, it would mean he is in the verge of death. 

Her mind was going to a dark place. But instead of being helpless, she remembered something. “S-Steve." 

"What?" 

"Steve mentioned that Bucky was in the 107th." 

Peggy placed two and two together. Barnes was probably one of those who hasn’t came back. "I know where the 107th is. We can start from there." 

"Then what are we waiting for?” [Y/N] stood up with little trouble. “Let’s go.”

*

After confirming to Col. Phillips that Barnes was one of the unlucky ones who hasn’t came back, [Y/N] felt her whole world was crashing down. She wanted to burst into Hydra and save him herself but that was against everything she was taught. There were too many factors to consider. Luckily, Steve was more than ready to take those risks. 

“Then you gotta let me go.” Steve jumped in front of the truck but Peggy went to his side. “I can do more than that.” 

“I can get you a ride.” 

“And I can cover for you.” [Y/N] called out as she went closer to the two. “As your upper, I, Colonel [Y/F/N] [Y/L/N], give you full permission to go on enemy lines and kick some real Nazi ass.” 

She took a few steps back to give the two space. “I have to stay back, someone has to make sure you won’t be held responsible.” 

Steve nodded in respect and gratitude. "Thank you, ma'am." 

"Don’t thank me, Rogers. You know damn well why I’m doing this." 

Steve let out a smile. He knew [Y/N] couldn’t ignore it forever. "I’ll save him." 

"I’ll know if you fail,” she tapped to the corner of her eyes, “so don’t. That’s an order, Rogers." 

Steve saluted her. "Yes, ma'am." 

*

"This is exactly why I didn’t want you to be assigned here too. Your impatient nature has caused us a multimillion dollar experiment.” [Y/N] was true to her word when she said she would take responsibility. It became hell fire when Howard and Peggy returned without Steve. [Y/N] was subjected to a talk with fellow colonel, Col. Phillips. 

“Steve had a choice and I gave him permission to do it. We can’t afford to wait any longer. There would be more casualties.” She argued. 

“And look where it got us! Your rash decisions made us lose our only super soldier. Rogers’s death is in your hands. If only Dr. Erskine was still here, he would-" 

"I have done as much you have in this operation. This project would’ve never taken place if it wasn’t for me and you know that.” She cut him of and Phillips pursed his lips, knowing that she was right. “And if Steve was successful, you would be thanking me." 

"But he’s not, isn’t he-” Phillips was cut off by the shouting that was happening outside. Everyone went out to see that it was Steve Rogers and the rest of the 107th behind him. Peggy quickly left [Y/N]’s side to go to Steve. But [Y/N] was too busy searching for a particular face in the crowd. 

Once [Y/N] saw him, James Buchanan Barnes in the flesh, she visibly relaxed. He had a smile on his face as he stood next to Steve. He’s here and he’s okay and seeing that he was fine was enough for her. Happy tears invaded her vision as she stepped back, letting her soldiers have their moment. 

She was about to come back to the base and satisfyingly rip Rogers’s letter in person when she heard Steve shout. [Y/N], without a second thought, ran towards the sound, the crowd was parting for her. Her throat dried when she saw Bucky completely passed out and Steve was holding him up. 

*

“I’ll take care of this one." [Y/N] informed the only nurse in the private tent Bucky was placed in. According to Steve’s story, Bucky was being experimented on and [Y/N] automatically suggested this arrangement until he wakes up.

The young nurse was shocked by the colonel’s order. She knew she was assigned here for whatever happened to Sergeant Barnes was classified and that she was hoping for a bit of alone time with the man. "But, ma'am, I’ll have to advise against that-" 

"He’s my soulmate.” [Y/N] could see the hope drain from the nurse’s eyes before annoyance took its place. She couldn’t blame her though. Bucky was a good looking man and a lot of women would jump at the chance to help him at times like these. But he was her soulmate and people had to understand that. 

The nurse only nodded with a frown on her face before leaving the tent. [Y/N] went to the bandages and took it to herself to help Bucky with his wounds but something was off with them. It looked like it was burned to him or maybe even an attempt of electrocution. That must explain the kind of pain she felt that night. He may have done some unacceptable things in the past but he didn’t deserve this.

“Oh, Bucky,” [Y/N] sighed as she traced over a peculiar wound by his forehead. “What did they do to you?”

[Y/N]’s whisper wasn’t quiet enough. Bucky stirred in his sleep, his eyes fluttering open and placing her gaze at her. It made her abruptly pull back her hands from near his face and revert back to a normal posture. She opened her mouth to explain but Bucky squinted his eyes at her and murmured more to himself. “Wow.”

[Y/N] was taken back, she didn’t know what to say back. Bucky continued squinting at her, trying to remember if he has seen her before. “What a sight. A beautiful nurse all for lil ol’ me? I must be really luck-” Bucky stopped himself as his eyes bulged in realization. He sat up quickly, getting closer to her.

“It’s you.” Bucky whsipered as he remembered [Y/N]’s face as if it was only yesterday that she socked him on the jaw. “It’s really you." 

“Lie down.” [Y/N] pushed him back down to the mattress, making him release a small ‘oof’ at the act. [Y/N] almost said sorry, knowing his condition but instead pursed her lips and held her head up, before taking some medication to clean his wound with. “I’m not finished yet.” 

Bucky only nodded and kept his mouth shut for a moment, adoringly smiling up to her like a little child with wonder in his eyes. The attention was enough to make [Y/N] blush but she hoped he wouldn’t pay attention to it. She cleaned his wounds and tried to avoid looking at his eyes and his goddamn habit of biting his lip. All she needed to do was finish this then she can leave him alone.

"I don’t think we’ve properly introduced,” Bucky said out of the blue. He smirked at her, a technique proven to make any women in Brooklyn swoon. “I’m Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.” He made a bit of emphasize to the ‘sergeant’ part and it made [Y/N] remember how confident the man in front her really is and it made her want to kick him down a notch.

“I’m Colonel [Y/F/N] [Y/L/N]. You’re superior,” her words made Bucky gulp and her to smirk a little back, “but I figured you already know my last name." 

"Colonel?” Bucky asking again, more in awe than in fear. It made [Y/N] roll her eyes before putting on the last bandage.

“Your doubt wounds me,” she scoffed. She fixed the medical equipment and dusted her uniform off. She stood up and now Bucky could very much see her uniform, making him stare. "All patched up and ready to go, Barnes.“ 

“[Y/N].” She was about to leave but Bucky pulled her back. “[Y/N], wait please." 

"Colonel.” [Y/N] stated, putting on her poker face for him. She was trying hard to remember what the pretty face did to her sister. She pulled back her hand and raised her chin up a little.“That’s colonel to you, sergeant." 

“I expect nothing less than your utmost respect.“ She pressed her words before turning and leaving the tent.

“[Y/N]!” The sound of Steve’s voice made her stop on her tracks and give a straight face at the worried captain. “How’s Bucky? Is he okay?”

“He seems to be functioning right.” She stated before passing him without a second word. Steve’s forehead creased in confusion. [Y/N] appeared to be the most worried out of all of them a while ago, even shouting for everyone to make some way for Bucky but now, her attitude has turned. Steve glanced at Peggy for answers who only shrugged before they entered a tent to see Bucky lying down. “Hey, Steve.”

“Bucky, you’re okay.” Steve slowly smiled as he sat on the stool near the bed. Bucky only shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.

“No, Steve. I fucked up.” He groaned. Steve slowly realized what he meant. So that’s why [Y/N]’s attitude seemed to be off.

“I don’t know, pal.” He placed his hand on his shoulder. “You’ll have to make it up to [Y/N] somehow.”

“And how will I do that?”

“Admitting you’re wrong is always a great start.” Their gaze fell to Peggy who was standing there quietly the whole time, listening to their conversation. The two soldiers looked at each other before putting their gaze back at Agent Carter. The woman had a point.

*

After much deliberation and thought and a talk with Peggy on what to do, Bucky finally decided to tell her the truth and beg for forgiveness. He figured that [Y/N] deserved that. He knocked on the door of her office, straightening up his attire. After a faint ‘come in’, he entered the room and closed the door quietly behind him.

[Y/N] was too engrossed in the files she was reading to even look at the one who entered the room. Bucky bit onto his lip, even when she was only sitting, she still exhibits a power. A very attractive quality that Bucky came to love. Bucky raised his hand and saluted. "Colonel [Y/LN]. This is Sergeant Barnes, reporting." 

The sound of his last name made [Y/N]’s ear perk up. She lifted her head from her files and nodded before asking. "There’s no report to be done. Why are you here?”

“Well, ma'am…” Bucky murmured, slowly getting anxious of his own idea. He turned around and locked door behind him. The act made [Y/N]’s instincts kick in and she reached for a gun as she stood up.

She pointed the muzzle of the gun at Bucky and cocked it to attract his attention.. “Barnes, what the actual he-”

“Colonel please…” he pleaded as he raised his hands in surrender.“I just need time to talk to you.”

“Open the door or I will shoot-" 

"Okay, but please.” He reached to his back and unlocked the door, leaving it closed. ”[Y/N].” He stepped forward cautiously, her aim was unwavering. “Just time, that’s all I’m asking.“

[Y/N] searched his eyes for any hidden agenda but all she could see was sincerity. She sighed and clicked the safety on her gun and pointed it to the floor. “You have 2 minutes.”

Bucky took a deep breath as he placed his hands down. "I know you’re still angry about-”

“Nancy, my sister, yes.” [Y/N] interrupted, wanting this talk to move quicker. She didn’t want to stay in a room with only Bucky in a long period of time.

“You still haven’t forgotten." 

She scoffed. "That was my sibling, Barnes. I don’t think I can forget easily about what you did to her.”

“I promise I didn’t mean it,” he took another step forward. “I thought she was the one. I thought I finally found her. I was caught up by the fantasy of knowing my soulmate before I got drafted. I didn’t know I was already using someone for my own gain. And to think, it was my soulmate’s sister,“ he chuckled bitterly.

"I really thought she was… you. I never meant to hurt anyone. I’m sorry.” He took another step as he pursed her lips. [Y/N] left the gun entirely on her table and went closer to the man until they were closely in front of each other.

“I’m so sorry.” He repeated, closing his eyes for a moment to hold back his tears. "I’d understand if you want to reject me as your soulmate. I know I deserve it after what I-”

[Y/N] cut him off by pressing her lips to his. Bucky taken back by her, blinked his eyes repeatedly before closing them and wrapping his arms around [Y/N]’s waist. She placed her arms around his neck and her fingers through his locks. She lightly tugged to catch her breath, making Bucky moan softly at the feeling. She stared him straight in the eyes. “Be thankful Nancy’s a saint.”

[Y/N] started walking, taking Bucky with her and making him walk backwards until he sat to a chair. She sat on his lap, his arms going around her waist as if in instincts. She pulled his collar closer to her. “She’s forgiven you the moment she realized you were my soulmate.”

Before Bucky could reply, [Y/N] pressed her lips back to his. He placed his hand on her neck to deepen the kiss. She pulled away to speak the thoughts that has been nagging her all day. "My eyes blinked back to your color, Bucky.”

[Y/N] placed a calming hand on his cheek and Bucky leaned onto it, trying hard to memorize the feeling. She whispered softly as Bucky closed his eyes. “What did they do to you?”

Bucky only shook his head before carefully taking hold of [Y/N]’s cheek. “It’s not important now, [Y/N].” He murmured before kissing her softly.

“I was so worried, I thought you were gone,” [Y/N] whispered to the kiss, biting her lip in the process to prevent any tears.

“And I thought I’ll never have a chance to see you again,” Bucky answered back before melting into the feeling of her lips on his. The two was too caught up with each other that they didn’t hear the door open. ”[Y/N], I- oh.“

Bucky immediately pulled away from [Y/N], he was shocked and embarrassed at being caught at such a vulnerable moment. While [Y/N], on the other hand, deadpanned at the people who dared to interrupt their moment. “Seriously, Peggy? Don’t you always knock first?” [Y/N] asked, annoyance clear in her tone.

Peggy stopped her grin from coming out and tried to look professional but a smirk shone through while Steve in the background were all red in the face at what he just witnessed, looking completely scandalized. “I didn’t think you were busy,” Peggy bantered.

“More than busy. If you hadn’t notice, I’m in the middle of a meeting with Sergeant Barnes.” [Y/N] gestured to Bucky who was hiding his face behind his hand, the other was still around her waist while she was still on his lap.

“I can see that.” Peggy nodded. “But you are needed in the base for a well needed briefing.”

[Y/N] placed her both hands on Bucky’s shoulders. She stared back to his eyes. She was gazing at him predator-like with a smirk on her face as if they were alone, making Bucky gulp at her actions. “We’ll be out in 10.”

“Colonel,” Peggy softly scolded her friend, making [Y/N] huff.

“Fine. 5 minutes. Now, get out please,” [Y/N] bargained as she shooed the two. 

“We were just getting to the good part.” [Y/N] purred as she wrapped her arms around Bucky’s neck. This was the exact time when Bucky realized what she was doing. [Y/N] loved teasing people, especially her friends. Whatever she was doing was hilarious to him and he decided to play along, wrapping his arms around her waist to bring her closer to him. “And lock the door on your way out.” Bucky smirked, knowing her game.

By this time, Steve was far too embarrassed that he let himself out. Peggy though rolled her eyes before closing the door, secretly happy that her friend finally has made up with her soulmate.

Now that they were alone again, Bucky let out his laugh. “I can’t believe you just did that.”

“Did what? I handled it diplomatically and professionally.” [Y/N] played innocent perfectly. She even pouted her lips for extra measurement, making Bucky cover his face with his hand when the embarrassment set in again.

“In front of Peggy and Steve?" 

[Y/N] tried her hardest to keep a straight face but remembering the look on poor Steve’s face made her erupt in laughter. "Steve’s face was priceless.”

Her laugh was contagious, making Bucky laugh as well as he remembered the look on his friend. “I wish I had a camera. I would frame that up the fireplace.”

Their shared laughter slowed to chuckles. [Y/N] placed her hand on Bucky’s shoulder and shrugged. “We can he just make him recreate it later.”

Bucky leaned back, completely in awe of the woman in front of him. "What did I ever do to deserve a woman like you?”

[Y/N] only smirked and took hold of his collar, tugging him close to her. “If you don’t kiss me again, you’ll never find out.“ 

Bucky smirked back at her and whispered to her lips. "We wouldn’t want that, would we?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yall watched the movies. Im pretty sure you know what's coming. Brace those tissues my sweeties. I cried writing this part too. but i hope yall enjoy the pain

Bucky woke up earlier than usual. He wanted to surprise [Y/N]. It was the first time in months that Bucky got a good nights sleep. He wanted to be the first one to great her good morning and not some other soldier. He caught a glimpse of her, [Y/N] looked absolutely breathtaking in her full uniform, head up high and dripping with confidence. He couldn't be anyway luckier. 

Bucky stalked her back, being as quiet as possible. [Y/N] senses someone behind her and was about swing her fist but Bucky caught it in time. "Woah there." Bucky chuckled, putting his arms around her. [Y/N]'s eyes bulged his action but all he did was smile at her reaction. 'She's so cute,' he thought.

"There's my doll. I've been waiting for you." 

[Y/N] pulled away and let his hands fall from her waist. "Bucky-" 

"How are you? Did you sleep well?" Bucky asked, taking her hands to his.

"James, what are you doing? I'll look-" 

"Amazing as always." Bucky breathed out, meaning every word. He entwined their fingers together as Bucky grinned at her. Instead of smiling back, [Y/N] removed his hold and stepped back a respectable distance from him. 

"You have no respect. Do you treat your superiors as if they are just your fellow soldiers?" [Y/N] barked, her authority was prominent in her voice. Bucky was confused. He took a step forward and reached out to her but [Y/N] avoided his hold, making him worry. 

"Doll?" 

[Y/N] dropped her gaze and avoided Bucky's eyes. She cleared her throat before taking a step back before whispering. "Drop and give me fifty push ups. Now." 

"Sweetheart, did I do something wro-" 

"I SAID DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY PUSH UPS, BARNES." [Y/N] demanded, raising her voice. Her tone made Bucky step back before immediately complying. 

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" Peggy bantered as she made her way to [Y/N]'s side with Steve hot on her trail. Bucky was counting his push ups while Steve looked down in his friend before glancing up to the smirking colonel. 

"Just a sergeant taking punishments." [Y/N] smirked as she crossed her arms.

Peggy almost laughed out loud at the word but instead chuckled. "For what? A change of pace?" 

"Because if I remember correctly, it was his tongue going down your throat last night." Steve's face contorted to uncomfortable. He was amazed on how these women can converse so comfortably even with him around. [Y/N] smirked down at the man on the ground before she shrugged at her friend. 

"He needs to learn there's a time and place for personal affairs and out in the open is not one of them," She said out loud, loud enough for Bucky to hear.

"And it was my tongue down his throat, not the other way around," [Y/N] corrected before acknowledging Steve's presence. "Steve, good morning."

Steve snapped out of his gaze to his friend, he was laughing silently at Bucky while Bucky murmured a small 'shut up, punk'. Steve nodded in [Y/N], "oh, yes. Good morning." 

"Have you finished planning on the new strategy for- STOP LAGGING BARNES OR I'LL MAKE IT A HUNDRED." She commanded as Barnes picked up his pace, breathing heavily. [Y/N] placed a stray piece of hair back to its place before returning back to her relaxed stance and looking back to Steve and Peggy who both seemed shock by her outburst. "Where were we?" 

*

The two only had one rule and it didn't really last long. They agreed that any public display of affection is not allowed. But soon they realized if you're high up the ranks like they are, finding time to be alone isn't so easy. So they thrashed the rule and made the most of it. 

At any moment that they're together, you would most likely find Bucky glued to [Y/N]'s side. When they're included in a briefing to make a new strategy or plan, they'd be sitting next to each other and holding hands under the table. The two became inseparable, only leaving each other's presence when necessary. They spent so much time together that Steve had a pile sketches of only them, he's not complaining though (he plans to give them to Bucky on his birthday). There weren't any hardcore PDA like making out in public or something but the simple hand holding, normal touches and meaningful eye contact were enough to make even Howard Stark look away. 

*

[Y/N] was helping Howard with his contraption and giving him her own suggestions when Bucky appeared behind her, a single delicate daisy in his hand. [Y/N] acknowledged his presence and was about to greet him with a smile when Bucky saluted. "Sir, permission to put this flower in your hair." 

His action made Howard want to throw up and [Y/N] to grin happily. To humor him, she stood a little bit straighter and nodded. "Permission granted." 

Bucky put his hand down and placed the flower to its rightful place and tucked her hair behind her ear with it. His hand went to her cheek, not being able to look away from her eyes. "It suits you, sir, you look beautiful." 

[Y/N] grinned as a a blush made its way to her cheeks. She removed his hand from her cheek and instead hold it in hers. "Compliment taken. You may proceed." 

"C'mon, guys. Not in front of me." Howard whined, making the two laugh and pull away. [Y/N] playfully stuck her tongue out to Stark before returning to what they were doing with Bucky standing by [Y/N]'s side and holding her hand, having nowhere else better to go. She wore that flower all day long and no one dared to bat an eye. 

*

No one argued nor complained, they simply understood. Even Col. Phillips noticed the two and didn't bother to order them apart or make them stop on the accounts of being unprofessional. It just made him write a letter to his own wife back at home. Even he understood. 

The Howling Commandos became more and more in demand, going through multiple missions a month. [Y/N] was busy leading her own men and helping Agent Carter train the newly drafted. 

In videos taken to be sent back to base, Bucky would always be shot holding his dog tag to his lips. It always melted [Y/N]'s heart. Little did anyone know that he and [Y/N] exchanged their tags as a reminder of each other. No matter how wrong or how against the law it was, it was the only thing keeping the two from going crazy in longing. 

But as the Howling Commandos got more missions with more risks due to Captain America's great performance in leading and battle, [Y/N] was left to worry about the danger Bucky is now subjected into. Whenever she gets the chance, she tries to ensure their safety by adding extra artillery, sending more men if needed, and making sure they have a good enough strategy. But this time, when she heard how much important this mission is, [Y/N] jumped at the chance. 

*

"I'll come with you lot, you people will need someone to save your assess." [Y/N] walked in as they were fixing their weapons and readying the equipment they were taking with them. She was in full combat mode with her own suit on. No one argued, no one dared. Extra help is actually welcome. 

"Never heard a lady talk like that." Pinky murmured under his breath while he cleaned his gun. 

"That's because I'm no lady, Pinky." He slowly sat up in shock from cleaning his gun towards the voice. He didn't know he said it so loud. The other Howling Commandos glanced to him in pity. Dum dum was already praying for Pinky's soul. "Let's get that through that thick head of yours, alright?" 

"Pardon me, colonel." He really didn't feel like going a lap around the whole base. Plus, he was smart enough to know he would never win a single fight with that woman. 

[Y/N] didn't make so much deal of it. Steve was in his way to give her the files that were given to them. She was listing the points she remembered in the meeting. "So, later evening, right? The arrangements has been set and everything's ready for the departing-" 

"[Y/N], you're not coming." A lone voice made [Y/N] hold her words, Steve to place the files back to the table, and everyone in the Howling Commandos to stop what they were doing. [Y/N] slowly glanced up to where it came from and but the inside of her cheek in growing annoyance. 

"Excuse me, Barnes?" 

Bucky stood a little bit straighter as he face his soulmate's silent fury. "I'm sorry, sir, but the mission only calls for the Howling Commandos and there's no time to give you a brief about-" 

"I'm a fast learner," [Y/N] snapped, making Bucky let out a sigh. Steve was slowly getting worried, he wants to butt in and say that Col. [Y/L/N]'a skill set would be very helpful in their mission. 

"Sir, I have to advise against that. There can be complications and..." Bucky started trailing his words when [Y/N] widened her stance and crossed her arms. Bucky would never mention it but [Y/N] looks incredible when she's in her colonel mode. Authority and power was practically reeking out of her. She was a sight, always with her head held up high and everyone acknowledging her presence with utmost respect. The view took his breath away and whatever he was supposed to say flew out the window. 

Steve, on the other hand, knew where this was going and was not exactly pumped about it. He knew the woman longer than Bucky. He knows what happens when [Y/N] doesn't get what she had already set her heart to. He quickly turned around and motioned for the other Howling Commandos to back away quietly. The lot raised their eyebrows at Rogers and all he did was close his eyes and motion again, hoping they'll get the message. They had to get out of there fast before the storm hits. 

"Continue, Barnes. I would love to hear the end of this." She hissed through clenched teeth. That just made everyone back away faster. They mumbled their goodbyes to Barnes while Gabe muttered a well-needed good luck to Bucky. They didn't want to see the anger of a woman like [Y/N]. There are just things that not even the Howling Commandos can handle, and a pissed, confidently independent, powerful and skilled female army colonel was on top of that list. 

"It's not safe." Bucky breathed out, knowing that he already lost even before this conversation has started. 

"Of course, it's not. Do you think I'm an idiot?" [Y/N] stepped closer to him, slowly feeling irritated. Bucky only placed his gaze to the ground and shook his head lightly. She reached to his chin and gently raised it up so she can look him in the eye. "If you don't want me hogging the glory or anything like that, then I promise to not do anything like that," she said firmly. 

Bucky would still avoid his gaze from her and it made her tone soften. She hated to upset him so she pleaded. "Just let me come please." 

"[Y/N]..." Bucky softly scolded as he removed her hold from his chin. 

Slowly, [Y/N] understood as she sarcastically smiled in annoyance. "There's something more to this, isn't it?" She crossed her arms again and bit her lip. "James, tell me." 

Bucky ran a hand through his hair before turning his back on her. He started walking away, wanting the conversation to end. "[Y/N], please." 

[Y/N] ran in front of him and stopped him from going anywhere. She took hold of both his arms as he turned his head to avoid her pleading eyes. "I'm your soulmate, James. Tell me-" 

"I can't lose you!" Bucky shouted, shocking [Y/N]. 

He tried to catch his breath, he stared at her eyes and [Y/N] could clearly see the glassiness in them. He took hold of her cheeks. "I can't lose you, okay?!" 

"I got a glimpse of that and I'm sure as hell ain't going back." He further explained as his hold slowly loosened. 

"I'm going to protect you in every way I can." For the first time in their relationship, this was the only time [Y/N] saw the coldness in Bucky's tone. He meant every word. "And this is one of them." 

"So please, listen to me." His stature softened. His hands dropped to take hers and held them dearly to his chest. "Just stay behind." Bucky leaned down a little to connect their forehead as he stared at [Y/N]. "For me." 

[Y/N] would be lying if she said she didn't understand what Bucky meant. She wanted to say yes so bad, he knew how much this means to him, this would give him the assurance he needed but it didn't to her. She slowly pulled away from Bucky and murmured."I can't lose you too." 

Bucky's face fell, he looked like his entire world just fell apart. "It's a two way street, Bucky. I want to take care of you too." She placed one hand to his cheek and caressed it with her thumb, trying to convince him that she meant well. 

"I just got you back. I thought you were dead," she reasoned. "I can't just sit here pretty, just hoping you'll come back."

"I will. You have nothing to worry about." Bucky tried to assure her. It made her sigh, the conversation was going nowhere. [Y/N] chuckled darkly. "Famous last words." 

"I will come back. I will. Now that I know I have someone, that I finally found you again, I'm not letting anything take you away from me." Bucky held her cheeks to his as gentle as he could and looked deeply in her. "You can't convince me otherwise, [Y/N]." 

[Y/N] searched his eyes. She wanted to see if there was any use trying to convince him more. But, as she feared, he already had made up his mind. She just sighed and bit her lip before nodding. "Then promise me." 

"Promise me you'll come back." 

A smile slowly made its way to Bucky's face and a sparkle of hope sparked in him. "I promise." Bucky pulled [Y/N] into a hug, wrapping his arms around her and she hugged him as tight. He buried his face in her hair. He pulled away enough to press his lips to her. [Y/N] wrapped her hands around Bucky's neck to deepen the kiss. Bucky whispered to her lips. "I promise I will come back to you in one piece." 

[Y/N] only nodded before pulling his head back to kiss him again. She tangled her fingers through his locks and Bucky lightly bit her lip before pulling away. "Actually," he said, removing [Y/N]'s arms around his neck. 

"Bucky, what are you doing?" [Y/N] asked as Bucky fumbled to get his necklace out of his uniform. He removed it and placed it on her palms and closed them. "Take this." 

She opened her hand and saw what it was. She stared up in confusion as he merely smiled. "But Bucky, this is your dog tag." 

"This is mandatory, you are required by law to wear this at all times, especially on a mission. This is important to you." [Y/N] tried to give it back but Bucky shook his head and smirked at her. "I know." 

"That's why I'm giving it to you." 

"James..." [Y/N] whispered out before Bucky took her hands and pressed them to his lips. He caressed them fondly before placing his gaze back at [Y/N], looking at her as if she was his entire world and vice versa. 

"After the war, when we come back, I'll introduce you to my folks. My ma, my pa, my sisters, they would love you. They'd be absolutely ecstatic. We can get a good house, get stabled, then we can start a life, together, the two of us." Bucky told with such fondness and love. He could almost picture the happiness of having a normal life with [Y/N] and she could see that he meant every word. "Don't you want that?" 

[Y/N] grinned, closing her eyes for a moment to blink back the tears. She nodded. "I do." 

"I want you to meet my folks too." 

"I want stability, everything." She sighed, something so simple felt like a dream in the time of war like this but now it was almost at reach with Bucky finally here with her who wanted the exact same thing. 

Her smile became sad as she remembered the state they were in. "But I want you to be safe too." 

"Then, trust me." Bucky breathed out. "I'll come back to you, _for you_." 

"I'll hold you on to that, sarge." [Y/N] bantered teasingly. 

"Of course, doll, why would I ever lie to you?" He asked, smirking. [Y/N] rolled her eyes before taking hold on his collar and pulling him to a soft kiss. 

Later that night, Bucky bid [Y/N] his goodbye while she wished him luck with a parting kiss. She glanced to Steve for a moment and he nodded, knowing exactly what she meant without her saying it. All she could do now was hope that the mission goes well. 

*

[Y/N] was back in the base with everyone else, planning their next moves. She was leading the briefing, giving all her ideas. The cameras were taking pictures, recording the moments of the war to be stored in the future. The meeting ended fantastically, their whole month was all planned out and their strategies were all laid out and they could almost feel the success through Col. [Y/L/N]'s brilliant thinking. [Y/N] was about to excuse herself but she felt a sharp pain on her forehead, making her lose her footing. Peggy by her side immediately steadied her, whispering if she was okay. She was about to reply when a strong electric shock burned into her eyes. She screamed, falling to her knees to the floor, her head felt like it was being bashed open. 

"[Y/N]! [Y/N]! What happened? Are you okay-" Peggy stopped on her sentence when she saw a glimpse of [Y/N]'s terrified eyes. 

"Your eyes..." Peggy gasped. Her fingers instinctively flew to her face. Her breathing became heavy and her heart was pounding her through her chest. She spotted a mirror and, with shaky legs, she quickly swiped it from the table.

[Y/N] fell to her knees at what she saw. Her hand flew to her mouth as she started crying silent tears. It was true. Both her eyes were still [Y/E/C] but half of it now had a prominent brown shade mixed with the color. That could only mean one thing. He's gone. 

"You promised you'll come back." She whispered, clutching to the mirror as if it was Bucky himself. "You promised..."

*

People were rejoicing. The Howling Commandos completed their mission; they have captured Zola. He was now under US Army and that was surely a game changer. The people closer to the bunch wasn't feeling their victory like the others were. In fact, they knew all too well that it wasn't a success. Steve arrived with the others at the headquarters with swollen eyes and tears still running down his face. 

[Y/N] was the first one to stand up and face them all. She walked in front of Steve and clutched the dog tag in her hand tighter before asking her question.

"He's gone, isn't he?" [Y/N] asked, her voice nearly cracking at the horrible words. 

"I'm sorry," Steve choked up before shaking his head, not being able to look Bucky's soulmate in the eye after what he did. "I couldn't save him." 

[Y/N] tried hard to raise her chin and thank the captain for the information he parted with her like what she should do but instead her tears had betrayed her.

[Y/N] broke down in front of everyone. Her body shook a bit, her jaw was clenched, her soft cries were the only thing heard throughout the silent room as no one dared to make a sound. Peggy was about to console her but she muttered a quick 'thank you' before excusing herself from the room. 

[Y/N] hurriedly hid herself in her office. That's where she let all the tears fall and the pain to sink in. She grabbed on to her hair as she screamed out her emotions. She stood up and made her way to the wall. She stared at the mirror, staring at her eyes. It didn't blink into his color, not even once. There was now a prominent brown shade permanently mixed with her [Y/E/C] ones. A forever reminder that she now had to spend her whole life alone. 

The thought made more tears flow out of her eyes as she remembered the vow Bucky left her. The sweet promised he had told her, the things they would do after the war, the plans that all turned into dust. All of them gone. She clutched his dog tag tighter to her chest as she stared more into the reflection of her eyes. "You promised you'd come back." 

_"Why didn't you?"_

*

"Is that her, Steve?" 

Bucky asked as he stared at the picture in front of them. Steve nodded as he gazed at the picture of his dear old friend. The two were in the Smithsonian. Steve thought a trip down memory lane would be good for Bucky. They were in a section dedicated to [Y/N], the woman who led armies to victory after Cap. They stopped in front of her picture, in her full army uniform, standing straight and smiling faintly. 

"Yup, The Colonel [Y/F/N] [Y/L/N], the feistiest, the most confident, the most courageous woman I've ever met." He grinned before facing his friend. "Do you remember her?" 

Bucky nodded, his gaze never leaving the picture. "She's my soulmate." 

"She is." 

"I don't know if you remembered yet but she gave you quite a rough time." Steve chuckled as he remembered, remembering the day as if it was only yesterday. "Do you remember why?" 

"I dated her sister." Bucky mumbled as Steve happily nodded. "You dated her sister." 

The two shared a laugh. The memory of being punched in the face by a pissed woman flashed in his mind. Bucky could almost feel the pain in his jaw again.

"She never married." Steve read the plaque near them out loud. "She placed all her time in helping Peggy direct SHIELD after the war before saving a great mass of people by insisting to be left behind to buy some time for their escape; she died in action." 

"Sounds exactly like her, stubborn but always in the right place." He smiled sadly. He was proud in a way but there was still that nagging feeling making him feel somewhat horrible

Steve sensed this and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. He didn't want to trigger any bad memories. "Do you have any regrets, Buck?" 

"No, I remember telling her everything I wanted to, everything she deserved to hear." He blinked to the ground as he remembered the words he told her last. The expression on [Y/N]'s face as he told her was still fresh in his mind. 

"It's just..." 

Bucky stared deeper into the mesmerizing eyes of [Y/N] in the picture, the deep [Y/E/C] mixed with, no question, his brown ones made him feel horrible. She must've had to live the rest of her life with that painful reminder and all of it because he didn't come back. 

"What is it?" Steve asked carefully, watching Bucky gaze intently at the picture with so much longing. The glass protecting the display reflected Bucky's [Y/E/C] eyes, his own forever reminder. 

_"I promised."_


End file.
